Pokemon: Blue Moon One Shot: Battle Buffet
by hambor12
Summary: A one-shot set in the Pokemon: Blue Moon canon. A newly crowned Alola Champion brings her mentor and her friend to the Battle Buffet. Said mentor and friend have a talk before dinner. Just, like, ignore the battles going on near the buffet proper.


**Just a short one-shot based around the Battle Buffet and how hilarious of concept it is of just walking up to people and fighting them for food, mixed with some future Blue Moon things, specifically of the sequel I may never get around to writing focusing on Creme and her travels in the place of her birth, Alola.**

 **A bit of a crossover with Fallout, as this takes place in the Blue Moon universe where the two are intertwined and can be traveled in between using a jury-rigged Pokeball and the infamous Relocator from BW1.**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

"Hello, and welcome to the—"

"Shut up and give us a table."

The temp receptionist restrained herself from commenting on the rudeness of this customer. Never before had she received such backtalk from any consumer before this, especially not from some young girl of no more than 14.

" _Battle Buffet_ , ma'am. Unfortunately, all tables at the buffet are—"

The girl flicked aside her long orange twintails, reaching into her bag and pulling out a passport. Throwing it with the combined nihilist unfeeling and annoyed fury of a mob boss and that same mob boss in line at a Unovan airport security line, the passport opened conveniently to the stamp signifying that said teenager was, in fact, the empirical strongest trainer in Alola.

The receptionist quickly realized the error of her ways.

"M-My apologies, League Champion, I d-didn't realize—"

"Just give us a table."

"Table for one—"

"Three," said the Champion. She cocked her head back at two adults sitting at the waiting room, a tall man in military fatigues and a beret, and an older woman with a duster and an identical beret.

"R-Right away."

With just a few rearranging of chairs around the restaurant, the special reserved Table for One was now a table for three. The two adults found their seats.

"Now, the Battle Buffet is a self-serve—"

Another interruption. "I don't need an explanation, lady."

"A-alright." The receptionist decided to get the water before the Champion got any more angry than she already was.

* * *

"Y'see, Boone? Isn't this Alola place nice?" said Abernathy, her fingers flipping and spinning a fork with great dexterity. The man shrugged.

"It's a wet heat, I guess. At least I'm not cramped up in a Pokeball."

As he took a sip of water, his head moved just in the right direction to avoid getting splatters of Muk on his face.

"Something something, Relocator. Better than Bonnie Springs, at least."

"Most things are, Six," responded Boone dryly.

"Fair. Also, projectile on your nine."

He did as such, dodging the rapidly deflating missile that was a defeated Drifblim as it rocketed towards the back wall.

"Hmm. Didn't take her for a salad type."

"You took me here to talk about training Creme, right?"

A metal pan clangs near Abernathy's feet.

"She's a good kid. Surprisingly observant, like she's got eyes on the back of her head. Kinda like you, almost," says the elderly woman, her foot stamping on the edge of the pan to flip it in the air. It reflects a rampant Ice Beam as it spins in the air before clattering back onto the floor.

"A good catch on the pizza there."

"There's more to spotter training than just eyesight, Abernathy," says Boone.

"I know that, Boone," Abernathy replies, clicking the release on a Pokeball to release a Magneton. "Arcade Jr, set up a Reflect wall, will ya?"

 _[Initializing…]_

Multiple walls of electromagnetic force materialized between the table and the bannister overlooking the buffet. A large Salamence promptly smashed against it, slumping to the floor against the electrical wall before it gave out.

"Well, darn. At least she got that sushi plate."

"You named it Arcade Jr?"

"Listen, if you want teamwork, Creme's got plenty." Abernathy faltered. "Y'know, maybe here ain't the best place to demonstrate the teamwork aspect given that the whole buffet thing's a solo endeavor."

A large man in a gi smashed through the table, startling Boone but otherwise not really fasing Abernathy.

"Y'alright there, dude?"

"S-so… powerful."

"Trained her myself. It was kinda your deathwish though, trying to get that steak," Abernathy joked, letting out a hearty chuckle as Boone fruitlessly tried to wave over a waiter to push over a new table.

"Don't worry, Boone. Champion pension pay's got it covered. Let's hope they take Unova Poke, though,"

Abernathy stole a glance at the clock. "Shall we discuss later this over the meal that Creme has so graciously acquired for us?"

"... yes."

And so a delicious meal of 20 Rindo salads, 3 plates of Whirlpool sushi, 8 bowls of Hoenn ramen, 15 servings of Tamato pasta, 13 plates of Eggant in chili sauce, a whole 14-inch Miltank cheese pizza, and a 16 oz. Take Down prime rib steak was had by all, except for the unfortunate trainers who were also trying to get a meal at the same time.

* * *

"I think me and Selkie outdid ourselves this time, Miss Abernathy," said Creme as she drew a comb across her Primarina's light blue locks.

"You know I'd still be proud of you even if you lost, kiddo, right? Besides, you're the Champion of Alola!"

Abernathy and her Cacturne were each carrying at least two full boxes of leftovers.

"Want any? We're Relocating this stuff with Boone back over to the Mojave to give to the Followers."

"It's fine. You know I do the Buffet for training, anyway. Thanks, though." Creme barely smiled ever, but she made a special exception for Abernathy.

"Suit yourself, kid." Abernathy turned down the street before feeling a hand grasp her shoulder.

"Wait. Miss Abernathy, Kai called earlier and asked if we wanted to watch his PWT debut over at the Professor's place. I know that you have the Mojave as well as obligations from the Unova Elite Four and—"

"Of course, kid. Wouldn't miss it for the world."

Creme's face lit up. "Thanks, miss…"

"Now come on, fellow Champion. Those street kids ain't going to feed themselves."

* * *

 **Don't worry, Blue Moon ain't dead. Just needs some time is all….**


End file.
